How I learned to stop caring,

And stop reading pitchfork.

I've had it. I only spent maybe 5 minutes looking at pitchfork. That was five minutes wasted.

I'm cranky and here's a symptom. Regardless of whether or not taking the beatles music and mashing it up for french-ish contortionists in the Le Circ is a good idea or not, here's the 2nd paragraph:

"Glass Onion" was Lennon having fun with the Beatles myth, referencing his earlier songs and mocking the tendency to "decode" them that would eventually get way out of hand when Beach Boys pal and "Never Learn Not to Love" composer Charles Manson sent his minions into Beverly Hills to commit mass murder. "Glass Onion" was Lennon's attempt-- on the fly, while the band was at its peak-- at recontextualizing his Beatles work, to remind us all that music is supposed to be fun. The joker was laughing with us, jabbing an elbow in our sides to say, "Hey, we're just a pop band here, folks."

You silly, silly person. If you'd ever done any research AT ALL, instead of just remembering there's some connection between manson and the white album you might look up something snd find out that the White Album was the catalyst for manson to go off the reservation - AND you'd find that the song "Glass Onion" was in fact, ON the fucking White Album. One might even say that there are grooves on the vinyl disc that when played at 33 and precisely 1/3 revolutions per minute sounds mimicing the song Glass Onion would issue forth. Like tissue paper from a spastic cash machine.

I want my five minutes back.

Update: I'm a big loser - the paragraph says eventually get out of hand with manson. i missed that. Note to self - take some remedial reading comprehension courses at the local middle school. grade: amateur. Sorry about the outburst.

More Corporate Thieving, Compliments of Microsoft.

Apple Matters | Zune Marketplace's Absurd Pricing Scheme

So, the Zune is out and making all kinds of waves. I checked it out myself and wasn't really interested for a variety of reasons, namely because I could give a f**k about sharing music that I'm not allowed to own with friends when that music will expire in three days (which is one of the 'great' unique features Zune boasts), etc, etc. I represent the kind of consumer that doesn't own an MP3 player so that I can use it as a 'magic key' to somebody's online music store- I just want to put music on the thing (music that I own, music that I can transfer to ANY device).

Now, I have to say that I do not take sides on the whole 'Apple vs. Microsoft' battle-royale. Personally, I dig the iPod- I use it, I love it, BUT I have never once used the iTunes Music Store- not once. I mean hey, let's face it, if I wanted to load up my 'Pod' with 20,000 songs from iTunes MS (at $.99 a song), it would cost me roughly $20,000, wouldn't it? So, I'm not really into online music stores as a rule anyway, no matter who's counting the cash. That being said, I have to dog on Microsoft's new online endeavor (that's linked to the new Zune media player) a little anyway.

I'm a little put out by something I read recently about Zune Marketplace's use of a 'points system' in place of currency for buying songs. This is supposed to be so that XBOX Live users can win points (and for a few other reasons that seem largely inconsequential to me), but the whole equation comes out very shifty because there isn't an exact 1:1 correlation between dollars (or cents) and points. Microsoft forces you to buy points at a minimum of $5 blocks ($5 = 400 points) and their songs (which are 79 points each) come out to be like 98.75 cents per song. This is great right? Cheaper than iTune's 99 cents per song right? Well, sort of, unless you take into account that you have to keep buying in $5 blocks if you hope to ever break even.

You see, Microsoft essentially gets to pocket the inevitable left-overs because it's not 'real' money there in your account- you bought 'points' not 'songs'- end of transaction. So, unless you make it your personal mission to use all your remaining points up, which entails buying more and more and more points at a minimum of $5 each purchase, you'll never get as much music as you actually paid for- so are you really saving money when you're forced to spend more to get your money's worth? Not only that, but until you spend up all your extra points (which is undoubtedly an endlessly futile thing to attempt), Microsoft gets to use your unspent change as an interest-free loan.

And, in case anyone is wondering about how much purchasing you'd have to do at Zune Marketplace to use up ALL the money that you paid in, the only way that you could break even (without actually losing money) is to buy music in increments of 31,600 points ($5 = 400 points, 79 points = 1 song, and 31,600 is the LCM of 79 and 400). That means to get back ALL of your money, you are forced to buy 400 songs, which will cost you $395.

What a deal!?!

Ugata Heardis

Some highschool friends that I recently got in touch with have a neat thing going on. They call it the Ugata Heardis project. So far there have been 2 complete rounds with the third round in progress.

The way it works is that you

• have a list of cats who are "in" for the round.
• Each cat who is in gets a list of the names and addresses of the other cats who are also in.
• Then, you serve up a mix cd or double gatefold mix epic of songs and audio that you feel your peers just MUST be exposed to. Hence the name : Ugata Heardis.
• Then, if there are 6 cats who are in you make 5 copies of the disc(s) {6 minus your self = 5} and send them out to the peers.
  
• After a while a survey is emailed out to the peers from a co-ordinator where you vote for your favorite tracks from
• Each album that you didn't submit
  
• Your favorite tracks over all that you didn't submit.
• The co-ordinator then tallies up the results of the most popular tracks over all and you get to see which songs from your mix were favorites.

There are a couple of minor sub rules such as, no more than 2 tracks from one artists (the project is about exposure and breadth, rather than say making a mix and the last half be the B-side to Tattoo You. No matter how tempting that might be.

It's really a great idea. I love making mixes and I love the veritable avalanche of new music that you get. And it's great to hear other folks exercise their mix/dj skills. Most folks theme a mix and then the cover art can get off the hook. It's good times. This last round that i've joined in on has a sub-theme: Running Blind. Which means you send out the mix to be appreciated WITHOUT a track list. then, 2 weeks later you let the folks in on the secret of the artist and track names. So, if you REALLY want your peers to appreciate the suble colors of your pat boones and perry coumos, or your insistence that Tuvan throat singing is far and away inferior to Tibetan throat singing - you can. You can torture or show mercy.

I've already received a set in the mail One entitled Black Black and is a batch of industrial assaults that attempt to burn my face chemically. the other is Strawberry Pocky - which is chocked full of cartoon, raymond scott style musics, and some actual standup comic bits, with a sugar coating of Pop Songs. what fun.

Spread the culture of the Ugata Project. It is unseemingly tasty. It is, yea, unwholesome in it's delights.

Mr. Inflation/greed, meet Mr. Emusic,

Sope.

Emusic is changing the way they price stuff out. They gave us paying customers a heads up and said: "You'll be grandfathered in, at the same rate charge per download, but if you bail and comeback the deal won't be so sweet." That's pretty fair when you raise rates, as rate raises go. Of course they then reminded that you can bump up to a higher price and if you pay annually you'll get the maximum value but.

But. That's just it. I'm getting 65 downloads a month from them...I tend to burn them all up in one binge, so i'm always coveting more albums than i can fit in in a month, but here's the REAL rub. 65 tracks is JUST about all i can bring into my stable and process and give a good listen to and evaluate and be cheered by, or depressed by in a month. Frugality dictates that I stay nice and safe where I'm at. but the spendy part of me screams "VALUE!" at about 120 inner decibels, or indebs.

I'm torn, i'm NOT torn. I am in the words of Abraham Van Helsing, last night during Coppola's homage to "the Shining"'s torrents of blood, Un-Torn. caught between caring and not caring.

-Dr. Confusion
+++++
A quick shout-out to Myku who has been a posting whirlwind here and at his spot. The internets are enriched by your efforts.